YEAR FADES

The year is coming to an end and I have never felt so terrible. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control like I once had. My everyday is monotonous and my world feels dark. I can't breathe all the time and I'm always at a loss of words. My hand starts trembling and all I want to do is curl up and die.

I don't know but maybe I'm feeling like I'm fading away or forgotten. I always say that I have to be self-sufficient and I mustn't rely on anyone, but has that helped me? 

I don't know if this is the feeling of emptiness or if it's just my anxiety building up again. I don't know how to scream. Everyday feels torturous and repetitive I don't know when this will stop. 

I don't know what to seek solace in anymore. I don't feel like I'm myself anymore.